Restless
by Hananiah
Summary: Siri returns from her undercover mission with Krayn during the clone wars and finds that everything has changed.


Title: Restless  
Summery: Siri returns from her undercover mission with Krayn during the clone wars and finds that everything has changed.   
Disclaimer: Characters belong to George Lucas and Jude Watson not to me  
Spoilers: Jedi Quest comics and Secrets of the Jedi   
Rating: PG

Everything had changed so quickly that Siri couldn't bare looking at the shell that had been her home. For so long she had longed for the temple, the familiar walls and accessories that made her feel grounded.

But walking through the Temple, was like walking on a unfamiliar terrain on an outer rim planet without doing the homework on the customs of the people.

She felt adrift and alone.

The Temple was almost empty. Her friends and collegues were either dead or comanding large clone troops throughout the galaxy. Young padawans and initiates were learning battle stragedy instead of force tag. It all made Siri's heart ache.

And Obi Wan had been named to the Council.

She had heard it through rumours around the temple. Obi Wan's star had risen in the last years of the war, he and Anakin were heroes throughout the galaxy. He had become a far greater Jedi then she could have ever imagined-perhaps more so then Qui Gon had imagined. 

She hadn't seen the pictures of him, although Anakin's face was plastered on every holonet news banner for miles. He had grown up, certainly, and he looked more mature. Siri found herself nervous thinking of how Obi Wan looked now-how he acted, had he changed? 

She ran her fingers through her shoulder length blonde hair. She had experimented with lengths while undercover. She still felt uneasy with long hair but felt that she needed a change from her short look she had adopted as a padawan. So she had taken a happy medium. She was surprised she was so nervous. Certainly cosmetic change didn't bother her but what she seeked was recognition. Reassurance that even though the war had savaged the galaxy and that she had worked for a slave trader that she was still Siri Tachi. 

The doors to the gym were open. She peeked inside, feeling like a stranger. She caught a glimpse of Anakin, splayed on the floor, his lightsabre at the other end of the room with Obi Wan with a training lightsabre trained on his neck.

She watched as Obi Wan playfully thumbed off the sabre and helped Anakin to his feet. The two men were laughing and joking easily and Siri found she was surprised at how at ease Obi Wan looked. His hair was groomed into a severe style, shorter then before the wars. His beard was neatly trimned and even in training garb he fitted the Jedi hero label well. 

She kept her face carefully neutral as Anakin caught a glimpse of her-and then instinctievly looked to Obi Wan for guidence. It was no secret that she and Obi Wan were old friends, but Adi had told her that he had thought of her as an enemy of the Jedi when she had gone undercover for Krayn.

She knew the rumours that were circulating around the temple, but she didn't know what Obi Wan knew. She knew that Yoda had told him of her mission but by the cool look in his eyes it was unclear how Obi Wan felt about it.Still unsure about whether or not she had fallen to the dark or simply betrayed by her deciet.

'Just go' her mind counselled, 'Don't bother with the niceties, it's obvious he doesn't care'

Obi Wan stared at her with cool blue eyes, he was an expert of extracting an expression from his face. Siri thought it was what made him such a good negotiator.

"I heard you were named to the council-well done"

"And I heard you had returned to the temple" Obi Wan replied neutrally.

"Yeah well I was begining to miss the cafeteria food" she joked. To her relief Anakin smirked but Obi Wan's face didn't change.

"How long will you be staying?"

"Well since the wars been on there isn't really time for furlough for Knights so I guess until i'm assigned something. Which I guess will be your job now"

Gods this was really hard. She couldn't see anything in Obi Wan's face, just mild curiosity, as if he were forced, out of politeness to talk to someone he didn't like.

Obi Wan wiped his brow, and something changed in his eyes under the heel of his hand-some flicker of something. Some kind of feeling.

"Well Anakin and I have duties to perform"

A part of Siri couldn't believe he was dismissing her as if she were a annoying persistant crechling who had tired the adults attention. Part of her wanted to grab him and throw him to the floor, to shock some emotion into him. Like he had shown with Anakin. But mostly she was just tired. She was tired of lying to everyone and tired of trying to fit back into the temple for people like Obi Wan.

"Of course" she muttured, gesturing beside her. "Go right along" she didn't know whether saracasam or tiredness spoke for her.

She was greatful for Anakin's apologetic smile, but she knew that he didn't understand the fundemental reason for the tension that laid beneath the elders exchange. She hadn't known when the pressure to forget the past had transformed from gentle, teasing rivalry to covert hostility. She didn't want to know.

"Obi Wan" she didn't know what made her say it but there it was, echoing in her ears and Obi Wan was actually stopping. He turned to look at her, and there it was. The crackling of energy that always exsisted between them when they saw each other for the first time in a long time. When time meant nothing and Siri could still feel the gentle drops of a fountain on her face.

His eyes told her 'not now'

"Really, well done on making council. It's good to get what you want in life, and you really deserve it" 'A great consolation prize' she thought. 'Maybe a reward for his life time achievement of obeying the council and Qui Gon and Yoda'.

"That's the strange thing about wanting something. Gaining one thing doesn't make up for losing something else" He was looking at her then, and she was forced to look away in discomfort. To many layerings of emotion there. 

"Thank you" he said finally. "And thanks" 

Expelling a breath from her body, Siri, determindly strode toward the punching bag and thumped the thick material with all her might. The bag flew back with a satisying whistle of air on the backswing, for a while she battered the bag with all her negative feelings, with Obi Wan's dismissiveness, with every second she was forced to lie about who she was. Lie to Obi Wan about leaving the order.

A thrum of adrenaline coursed through her body as she danced around the bag as it swung with increasing speed. The restlessness and tiredness wrestled within her, creating a strange mixture of energy that she needed to dispel.

Punch, punch, kick, punch, kick, punch...

End


End file.
